The Loss of My Brother

It's been a difficult day. It’s difficult to know where to start. It’s difficult to put my thoughts together. It’s difficult to share what I am feeling. It’s just difficult. Just before noon, my cell phone started ringing off the hook. I picked up the call from my wife, Karlene. She asked me where I was and then told me to meet her at the house ASAP. I knew that it was something big. I arrived home moments before Karlene and watched her pull into the driveway and get out of the car. I did not say a word. I did not want to. She started saying; “I’m sorry,” as she came toward me. Then, with tears in her eyes, said two words, “Your Brother.”

Strange as it sounds, a premonition that I had over a week ago has come true. Last week, I told Karlene that I had a bad feeling about my brother – a very bad feeling. I just had a sense, a feeling, in my spirit that something was wrong. For the past several days, our family has been trying to get in touch with him. With him being divorced and living by himself, our efforts were to no avail. Today we know why. He was found deceased this morning in his bedroom by my nephew.

Mike was 12 years older than me. He was my only brother. Even though we were quite a bit apart in age, we still loved each other as brothers. The age difference, my brother’s loner attitude, and our increasingly divergent lifestyles, helped us to not be as close as we could have been. However, my mind is filled with many great memories of the times that we had together.

When I was a child, Mike often babysat me for my parents. When he was old enough to drive, mom and dad bought him a 1957 Chevy Bel-air wagon that he promptly turned into a sweet hot rod. He enjoyed driving it and I enjoyed riding in it. Mike loved the Ocean, especially the tide-pools off of Palos Verdes where he would collect sea life. He and I went there several times with his teenage friends and my beagle “Honey.” To this day I remember him watching me at the small parsonage we grew up in. Mike would sneak-in his rock & roll or comedy records to listen to, make himself a quadruple-decker sandwich (with everything on it) and sit down with a half-gallon of milk – it was party-time! I remember the day in 1967 that he joined the Navy and left our home forever. I missed him then. I miss him now.

We also spent time together at our Grandmother’s house out in the country near the town of Chowchilla, CA. Mike was 16 or 17 and had an Air Rifle and Pellet Pistol – both of which I coveted even at my young age. I distinctly remember that one day I kept pestering him until he let me shoot his BB gun out beside the barn. He had set up a few old bottles and tin cans upon the fence for target practice. Mike had an ornery streak and after letting me shoot the gun, gave me a devious look and told me that I had to the count of 10 before I became the target. I high-tailed it around the side of the barn, my PF Flyers going as fast as they could. He got to 10 and started yelling, “I’m gonna shoot you!” and I knew that he meant it. I was screaming for my Grandma as I rounded the side of the house heading for the sanctuary of the large enclosed front porch. I reached the screen door of the porch at the same time as Mike started shooting, which also happened to be the same time my Grandma stepped-out of the house to see what the commotion was all about. Grandma let out a shriek as she took a BB, meant for my backside, just beneath her right kneecap and went down like a bag of dirt. “You shot me, Mickie!” Grandma screamed. She seemed shocked by the fact that her favorite grandson – her “itchy-boy” – had just shot her with his BB gun. I wasn’t shocked. However, Mike was mortified and that was the end of the BB gun at Grandma’s.

In the Navy, Mike spent several years overseas which caused an even greater separation or disconnect between us. Then, in the late-seventies, after stints in Guam and the Philippines, He was transferred to the Mare Island Naval Base in Vallejo, CA. I only got to see him a couple of times while he lived up there. One was to watch Super Bowl XV on January 25, 1981 when the Raiders beat the Eagles. When he moved to Canoga Park a short time later, he provided a refuge for me to get away and spend a few days if I needed a place to stay. We spent one weekend breaking-in his brand-new VHS VCR by watching close to a dozen movies that we “rented” from a “movie store.” All of that was brand-new back then and we had a great time.

I enjoyed fishing with Mike and he always hated the fact that I would out-fish him every single time we went out. He wasn’t shy about letting me know it, either. Whether it was saltwater or freshwater, the story was always the same and his classic responses, which were sprinkled liberally with colorful metaphors, make me want to laugh even now as I think about them. Whether it was fishing, board games or whatever, Mike hated getting beaten in anything – especially by me, his kid-brother.

Mike had a brilliant mind and a near-genius IQ. He could fix just about anything mechanical or electronic. He could just look at it and figure out how it worked or how to make it work. Computer issues? No problem. He was the IT/Computer guy for Panavision for many years.

Mike was reclusive and didn't come around much. I don’t know if he was comfortable with himself, but he was comfortable being by himself. Surprisingly in the last few months he started popping-in from time to time. A few weeks ago, he showed-up and we were able to spend some time together. He brought his photo portfolio. Showing us some of his favorite photos. I told him about the photos that I really liked from his website (MOpelaPhoto.com). He was always into photography. It was what he really enjoyed doing. We talked and reminisced and laughed. It was a good visit. That was the last time that I saw him or spoke to him. It was shortly before his birthday.

Mike and Debi, (my siblings) and I, all celebrate our birthdays within days of each other in January. The birthdays have come and gone. Unfortunately, so has my brother Mike. He has come and he has gone. Yet, he left a mark upon my life that I will never forget.

I'll miss my big brother. In fact, I already do.

High Fiber

I am sitting at the computer this wet Friday morning eating a "high fiber" breakfast consisting of a piece of whole grain/whole wheat toast and a new (to me) high fiber, hot cereal by Kashi called "Truly Vanilla." One thing that I have to commend Kashi for is truth in advertising, because this "stuff" that I'm eating is just as the name states; TRULY Vanilla! For some reason, I don't think that their naming of the product and my definition of the product, though using the same two words, are inferring the same thing. Pouring it out of the packet, it looks like oatmeal mixed with birdseed. But, I am a gamer, so I cooked it in the microwave and gave it a try. The cereal, filled with nearly every whole grain you can think of, is fairly bland actually. After one bite, I decided to "doctor-it-up" with some Splenda to make it a bit more palatable (As Mary Poppins taught us, "a spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down"). SO, I have now eaten it -- more because it is good for me than the fact that it is just good.

Sometime back, my doctor urged me to increase the fiber in my diet. "You are not getting enough fiber in you!", my doctor warned quite adamantly. Then the entire team of medical professionals ganged-up on me with a list of all the terrible things that are potential by-products of not having enough fiber in one's body -- with the one's they were referring to being me! "You have to change your diet, or you will be back here again, having surgery", they said. All it took was that one "S-word" to shake me awake. Whatever I can do to help myself get healthy, (and stay away from surgery-- as you readers know about surgery and me!), I'm all for it! "Cut-out the fried food, stay away from the MSG, lower your fat intake, and you can set yourself free!" (Lyrics from "High Fiber Rap" that I just made up).

Since then, I have become more conscious of what I am putting into my body. I read the labels of foods... fat content, fiber content, calories, and what the ingredients consist of. I have dropped 30lbs, lowered my cholesterol, and am in better shape than I have been in years. I have chosen to live a low-fat, high-fiber lifestyle.

This all got me thinking about Christianity.

A couple of nights ago, the Lord dropped a thought into my heart about my "Christian" lifestyle. I have been challenged by this thought throughout this week; Am I living a healthy, "High Fiber" Christian life?

What is the "Fiber" of our Christianity? Fiber is defined as "Something that provides substance or texture." So what provides the substance or texture in our lives that we live for Christ? I believe that the answer to that question is found in the Biblical teachings of Jesus himself, recorded in Matthew, chapter 6.

In Matthew 6, Jesus talks about "substance" for our Spiritual lives. In His teaching, Jesus lists the things that are truly important for us to integrate into our lives. These are the "High Fiber" principles of Christianity.

Ironically, Jesus begins where most people choose not to -- with the importance of "Giving." He then moves on to the importance of "Prayer." Next he deals with the attitude of "Forgiveness," which is necessary for our prayers to be effective. Then he talks about "Fasting," another activity that many Christians do not know much about. The chapter ends where it began, as Jesus' teaching comes full-circle back to the principle of "Giving."

According to Jesus, these are the important parts of the Christian life. The healthy Christian life consists of a balanced diet of Giving, Praying, Forgiving, Fasting, & Giving to start the cycle all over again. Like the high-fiber Kashi I just finished, you may not think that these things taste all that great -- but remember, the benefits of this diet are eternal!

Healthy living -- the Jesus way.

Try it today!

A Super Bowl that was Super

Let me start with a confession. I'm not the big football honk that I used to be years ago. In fact, I don't think that I have sat down and watched an entire NFL game, beginning to end, all year. With that stated, I watched the Super Bowl in it's entirety.

I am a sucker for Cinderella stories. I love the underdog, who overachieves and ascends to greatness. Therefore, I was captivated by the Arizona Cardinals. Who? The Cardinals?! In the Super Bowl?!! Yes, the team that had never been to the Super Bowl before -- that had rarely even been in the playoffs in their lengthy history -- was on the center stage against a beast from the east, the Pittsburgh Steelers.

The Cardinals, led by the amazing Kurt Warner, (Spirit-filled quarterback), overcame one of the best defenses that the NFL has ever seen and even took the lead late in the fourth quarter, (which, in my opinion, will go down as one of the greatest finishes in Super Bowl history), before succumbing to another incredible last-second Steelers comeback, directed by Ben Roethlisberger, (also a Born Again Quarterback), by the score of 27-23.

The game, which is often won or lost by the strength of a team's running game, was a game of the receivers. The Wide Receivers Larry Fitzgerald of the Cardinals and Santonio Holmes of the Steelers were simply electric in the dramatic final quarter. Holmes walked away with the Super Bowl MVP trophy for his final-minute catch in the corner of the end zone that snatched victory from the jaws of defeat for the Steelers.

Yesterday at Cornerstone, I preached on "How to Be a Super Bowl Christian." I used the sports metaphor for our Christianity, drawing upon experiences from coaching High School football many years ago.
A Key to being a champion Christian is to "Be a Receiver."
We are to receive Jesus -- Receive the Word -- Receive the Holy Spirit and Receive one another.

There are several tips to being a good receiver:

1) It starts with the Right Stance.
The right stance is important for you to get off the line and into the play. Many Christians do not receive, because they take a wrong stance and get stuck on the line and out of the play.

2) You have to Run the Right Route.
One of my duties as a football coach was to teach the players to run the routes that the playbook called for. When you run the right route you find yourself in the right place to receive what God has for you. Don't run your own route -- make sure you are following the Lord's direction.

3) Keep your Hands Up.
You have to be in a ready position. Prepare yourself for the play that is coming -- ready yourself to catch the pass that is coming your way. When we raise our hands, not only do we surrender to the Lord's will for us, but we also ready ourselves to receive from Him what we need.

4) Always expect a Pass.
Expect God to send things your way. Expect to be blessed. Expect to be benefited. God is looking for you. Every good and perfect gift comes from above. Believe it - expect it - receive it!
These tips, if followed, will help you become a Champion for Christ and live an overcoming life of victory. As Paul said in 1 Corinthians 9:24, "play to win!"

"Now thanks be unto God, which always causes us to triumph in Christ." -2 Corinthians 2:14

Skin Cancer Surgery - A Week Later

Yesterday morning I returned to the scene of the crime, er, surgery center, to have the stitches removed from my right cheek. The friendly surgery team was there to greet me – happily smiling as if they knew something that I didn’t. The head nurse in scrubs led me down the hall and around the corner and down another hall to the very last room in the place and asked me to take a seat.

The room was filled with all sorts of instruments and medical equipment that I had never seen before. As I took a seat on the table, I discovered that it was extremely cushioned and quite comfortable. I asked the nurse why I didn’t get to have my surgery in this room last week as it was quite relaxing compared to the room that they sliced and diced me in. She replied that this room was a “special” room. I was about to ask what she meant by that when the door opened and in came Doctor Lee.

Doctor Lee shook my hand and asked how I was doing. I said; “you tell me, you’re the doctor!” (He doesn’t know me well enough to appreciate my humor) By this time my wife had somehow found the room and joined the party. She had dropped me off and went to park the car – which is an adventure story of it’s own at this hospital – amazingly, she showed up and took a seat ringside in time for the main event.

The team had me lie back on the table and they turned on the gazillion megawatt sun lamp above my face and went to work. Doctor Lee began removing the stitches when he suddenly said; “hmm.” Now there are several words that you do not want to hear when a doctor is examining you. “Uh-Oh” and “Oops” may well be the big ones, but “hmm” is definitely on the list. So the good doctor turned to his nurse and said “hand me a swab, I want to check something.” He then proceeded to forcibly push an 8-inch wooden swab into my still tender face along the sides of the incision.

“Doctor,” I said with increasing volume, “I can FEEL that and it doesn’t feel good!” Karlene told me later, “I knew it was painful, because every time he pushed that swab into your face, your feet would go up in the air!” The worst part is that she laughed when she said it. “Thanks, Babe, for the moral support. I know that for those who reject God, he will laugh at their calamity – but, YOU don’t have to laugh at MINE!” She still giggled as she went into the kitchen.

Suddenly, I began to gush a stream of verbal confession to the doctor. “I didn’t take it as easy as I should’ve! I preached on Sunday and I also did a leadership meeting! (Then the coup de grace) Then my wife made me take her to Disneyland for her Birthday!” Doctor Lee looked at me with an almost blank expression – He really doesn’t get my humor.

“I don’t like the looks of this,” Doctor Lee stated, without giving me time to take another run at the “humor” card. (Oh, great, here we go, I thought to myself) “Well, we have removed the stitches, but we are going to have to apply some special adhesive strips to help keep the incision straight while it is healing to minimize scarring. I also want you to start taking antibiotics – we don’t want any infection in the incision.” I replied, “No, WE don’t.”

So they quickly set about doing what he said they would do. Then they finished it off with another “Phantom of the Opera” bandaging job (as you can see by the photo) and sent me off with a parting shot; “This time take it easy!”

As you know, Karlene was there to hear it all -- so I’m taking their advice. No preaching for me this weekend at Cornerstone. (I am sure that some are thinking; “Wow, that Awakening Prayer is really working!”) Actually, we will have a guest speaking this Sunday; Pastor Paul Endrei from Cleveland, Ohio.

Well folk’s, I’m ready to turn the page. I’m already tired of having to deal with my face. (It’s bad enough that everyone else has to deal with it) I’m ready to be over this and onto something better – much better. Fortunately, the "Phantom Patch" was only for 24 hours. Now I get to show-off this more "socially acceptable" version of me! Gruesome, isn't it people?!

I do want to say a special “thank-you” to all of you who have been praying for my speedy recovery (and, as you can see, I still need it!). Seriously though, I really do appreciate all of the thoughts, prayers and concerns. God bless you, abundantly!

Well, gotta go.
It’s Cephalexin time!

Wake Up and Smell the Jesus!

O.K. Before you bust my chops for the above title -- I saw it on a t-shirt, somebody's blog or somewhere else (actually a young man's myspace page) and thought I would share my "find" here on my blog from the 'burbs.

I also found this great quote... I'm not asleep... but that doesn't mean I'm awake. ~Author Unknown

This past Sunday we kicked-off "AWAKENING" at Cornerstone -- featuring 21 Days of Prayer and Fasting. The Message that I shared was "Awakening to Destiny." When Jesus died and was buried, the disciples went their own way. However, 3 days later, when Jesus arose -- the disciples "awakened." They awakened to what they were called and chosen to do. They awakened to their purpose. They awakened to their destiny and, as a result, changed the world.


As followers of Christ, it is easy to fall into the rut that Jesus' disciples found themselves in post-Calvary and pre-resurrection. It is not difficult to lose focus, excitement and commitment concerning our Christianity. We can be lulled to sleep. With that in mind, we are beginning 2009 with a commitment to a spiritual awakening.

What Needs Awakened?

1) Awakening the Purpose.
The Disciples awakened to the fact that their lives would never be the same again. They had been given PURPOSE – A Reason for Living – A Vision of what they were here for and that they were called by Christ to do! We are here for a reason. We need to wake-up to God's purpose for our lives.

2) Awakening the Passion.
Old-Hat and status quo were immediately replaced by an awakened passion that propelled their calling and purpose! As Paul told his son in the faith, “I remind you to fan into flame the gift of God, which is in you…” (2 Timothy 1:6) -- we need to stir-up or awaken the passion for God and his work within us.

3) Awakening the Power.
Jesus told his disciples, “I give you authority... over all the power of the enemy!”(Luke 10:19) Jesus also promised them; “You shall receive power…” (Acts 1:8). They had to awaken to the Power of God that fuels the Passion for God that drives the Purpose of God. The kingdom of God is not about words, but about power!

Through the end of January, this is the focus and theme of Cornerstone Christian Center. Fortunately, we are not going it alone -- we are joining with churches across America and around the world that are also spending these 21 days praying and fasting for a global "God-Awakening." Fasting, Praying & Believing... Let’s have an Awakening in 2009!

The Alarm Clock is Ringing!

Dale Carnegie said; “Today is life-the only life you are sure of. Make the most of today. Get interested in something. Shake yourself awake!” Now is the time. Today is the day. Shake yourself awake!
Wake up and smell the Jesus!


“…when they awoke fully, they saw the glory of Jesus” –Luke 9:32

Surgery - The Day After

After blogging yesterday morning, Karlene and I drove down to the Medical Center and checked-in for the 9:00am surgery. They actually took me in almost immediately after I arrived. The surgical pre-op nurse had previously told me that the procedure could take a few hours and that waiting around was part of the process while they test the removed tissue in the Lab, so I should bring a book, ipod or something to do. So I did – I came prepared. Neatly packed into my new Diesel “Man Bag” (a Christmas present from my wife) was my son’s Sony PSP with a couple of movies for my viewing pleasure.

I was very happy with the surgery team. Two friendly nurses prepped me and then Doctor Lee came in to “jack-o-lantern” my face. Lovely thought, eh? They covered my face with a sheet that had a small hole cut in the middle of it for the surgery area. They then apprised me that there would be a little stinging sensation as they applied the local anesthetic. Needles in the face – another lovely thought. Next, the doctor said he was removing the affected tissue, which actually seemed to take very little time at all. He communicated exactly what he was doing throughout the operation, which I appreciated. Then he said that they were cauterizing the wound and that I might smell something like burning – Uh, yeah, I smelled something like burning flesh and it was mine! Then they patched up my face and said that they were off to test the flesh that they had just excised from my right cheek. This is where the waiting came in. Movie Time!

About 45 minutes later, they returned with the good news: “No more cancer!” Even though I was suddenly and rudely interrupted in the middle of my movie time, I was still both relieved and elated by the encouraging sound of “we got it all.” I was thankful to God and the Doctor (NOT one and the same) and I really didn’t want them to cut into me again, anyway – which is what they would’ve done if the lab results from my piece of face weren’t clean and cancer-free. Then came the fun part – the closing.

Unfortunately, for whatever reason, anesthetic that is administered into my person tends to wear off more quickly than the normal allotted time for the normal average person. Something about the fact that I’m not normal is the kind of thinking that my family reinforces -- often. So, as they are beginning to cauterize – again -- and suture the wound, they notice that I am squirming. “Can you feel that Mr. Smith?” Doctor Lee asked. How could you tell, doc? Was it the tears flowing profusely from my eyes, the fingernails deeply embedded into the vinyl of the operating chair, or was it just the screaming that gave it away? He then said; “Would you like more anesthetic?” I replied that I LIVE for anesthetic! Okay, so that may be a bit of a writer’s embellishment. I actually told Doctor Lee that the pain was uncomfortable, but not unbearable and that I would rather not get another needle stuck into my face (especially after the infamous fish-hook surgery with Doctor Pain that I am still dealing with on a daily basis -- see my blog from September 2008; "The Big Catch") so I chose to “tough it out.”

So, they cut ‘n pasted, sewed-me up, burned me again (just ‘cause they liked it) and then duct taped a huge patch on my face and said; “You should be able to go out and have a normal rest-of-your-day.” Are you kidding me?! In what universe can I walk around with a bandage on my face that could impress a makeup artist from “Phantom of the Opera?” But, I gave it a shot, anyway. Karlene drove me to the Credit Union so I could cash a check and I went in and frightened the Tellers. They asked me if I got mugged. (They really did ask me that -- I am not making that up! The "mean streets" of Torrance...) I replied “Yes, by my DOCTOR!” They said; "Oh, thats OK then!"

The entire operation actually took less than 2 hours. It was probably more like 90 minutes. In spite of myself, I think they did a pretty good job. Then again, what do I know about what is or isn't a good job at this juncture? I'm not a doctor, nor have I played one on TV (Actually, come to think of it, I DID play a Doctor in a Soap Opera Spoof Video a few years back). But I digress -- let's get back to my surgery.

Maybe, I should re-think that "good job" statement. I just removed my bandage, slowly and quite painfully, from yesterday’s surgery. It’s not pretty. Yikes! Looking at myself in the mirror, the first thing I said was my favorite line from the classic Frankenstein movie; “I’ve created a monster!” Hopefully, I won’t become known as Scarface, but there you go. See for yourself. Yes – it hurts. Enjoy the view – it will be covered-up when you see me.

Well, I’ve gotta run – er, walk – well, maybe lie down. Talk to you later.
I’m counting-down: 7 days and the stitches come out!

“Karlene – Where’s the Advil?!”

Surgery, Anyone?

I am sitting in the "home office" this foggy Thursday morning, sipping a cup of hot Tetley tea and preparing for the day. It's surgery day for me. Yippee. In a little over an hour from now, I will be heading to the Kaiser-Permanente Medical Center in Harbor City to have the procedure performed on my face (insert joke of choice here).

A couple of months ago, I was seeing my Dermatologist for my annual checkup and, during the examination, she found a spot on my face that she didn't like (I didn't like it , either) -- so she decided to do a biopsy on it. The results of that biopsy came back a couple of days later -- as she suspected, it was cancerous. So I was then put on the surgery schedule and now today is my day! (The picture shows the little spot on my face that is to be removed.)

It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year.

Yesterday, we spent the afternoon and evening up in Los Angeles with Zachary for his annual checkup with the Cranio-Facial Team for Kaiser-Permanente. The end result of yesterday's examination was the decision to do surgery on him. He will be having surgery that harvests bone from his hip and grafts it into his face, takes cartiledge from his ear and puts it in his nose and a few other fun-filled procedures. Oh, I forgot to mention, he is already on the waiting list for another surgery that has been in the works since last month!

So it seems to be surgery season for the Smith's. Fortunately, we have a large family that loves and cares about us. I have been blessed by the many text messages and emails from my immediate family, my local church family (Cornerstone) and my global family -- the family of God. Lots of kind thoughts and prayers -- from all around the world -- which are greatly appreciated.

I'll be back to "update" you later.