The Tale of the ZAX

The Zax = by Dr. Seuss

One day making tracks
In the prairie of Prax,
Came a North-Going Zax
And a South-Going Zax.
And it happened that both of them came to a place
Where they bumped. There they stood.
Foot to foot. Face to face.

“Look here, now!” the North-Going Zax said, “I say!

You are blocking my path. You are right in my way.

I’m a North-Going Zax and I always go north.
Get out of my way, now, and let me go forth!”

“Who’s in whose way?” snapped the South-Going Zax.
“I always go south, making south-going tracks.
So you’re in MY way! And I ask you to move
And let me go south in my south-going groove.”
Then the North-Going Zax puffed his chest up with pride.
“I never,” he said, “take a step to one side.
And I’ll prove to you that I won’t change my ways
If I have to keep standing here fifty-nine days!”
“And I’ll prove to YOU,” yelled the South-Going Zax,
“That I can stand here in the prairie of Prax
For fifty-nine years! For I live by a rule
That I learned as a boy back in South-Going School.
Never budge! That’s my rule. Never budge in the least!
Not an inch to the west! Not an inch to the east!
I’ll stay here, not budging! I can and I will
If it makes you and me and the whole world stand still!”

Well…

Of course the world didn’t stand still. The world grew.
In a couple of years, the new highway came through
And they built it right over those two stubborn Zax
And left them there, standing un-budged in their tracks.

Trader Joe's Knows

It is so L.A.

Yesterday afternoon I had to take my daughter, Tara, to a costume fitting at a costume shop. She is in her final high school production and for some reason they picked a costume shop that was located in Santa Monica, which is over a half hour away from Torrance. It was located somewhere on Pico Blvd, so I punched the address into my navigation unit and off we went.

The costume shop was located in a small shopping center that was anchored by a Trader Joe’s store. I like Trader Joe’s and shop at the one in south Torrance. With the boom in “green and organic” attitudes here in SoCal, health food has gone mainstream and driving it is, among others, Trader Joe’s.

So as I turned into the parking lot, I immediately stopped. It was crazy busy. There were far more cars and shoppers than there were parking spaces in the small lot. I was the fourth car back in a line of cars and just barely made it into the parking lot from Pico Blvd. There was also another line of cars coming off of the side street. All of us were waiting for spaces to open up and an attendant was directing us into the next open space as cars would leave. Realizing that we were not moving and that Tara’s appointment was that very minute, I had her get out of the car and go into the costume shop as I waited to park.

After 5 to 10 minutes, I had gotten to the front of my line and was unwilling to wait any longer. So, much to the dismay of the guy in the front of the other line, I pulled around the waiting cars and headed down the lane of the parking lot. Thinking I was getting ahead of him (even though I actually was ahead of him), he began to honk and swear at me as I made my maneuver around the waiting cars. I simply continued on through the parking lot and drove across the street into another parking lot with plenty of available parking spaces.

As I walked across the street and back through the parking with all the cars waiting to park, the thought struck me – this is so L.A.! This is the most health-conscious and looks-concerned capitol of the world, and yet, people won’t park across the street to walk an extra few steps to get to their favorite health food store! It was a beautiful day and there was plenty of parking available across the street, but that would mean walking an extra hundred feet of so – to go to a health food store. It kills me, it really does. These are the same people that will drive 2 or 3 miles to get to their health club where they then proceed to walk on a treadmill for 45 minutes. Why not save the gas and the cost of the club membership, and walk around the neighborhood or the park for an hour? Why not? It’s L.A. And it’s funny that way.

No wonder we need the health food stores.